6am. My son’s birthday. After fumbling for the alarm on my phone, I sat up and looked over at some of our son’s books on the floor. After over a decade of infertility, my wife and I had been looking forward to this milestone for a long time. My moment of reflection was quickly interrupted by an uncomfortable feeling in the back of my mouth. Earlier in the week I experienced some cold sensitivity, but it had passed after two days,. After some Claude AI triage, I was confident that it was normal change from my aggressive brushing.
 
Narrator: “…but it was definitely not normal change, and something else was wrong”

I got up, did a quick visual inspection in the mirror, and moved on to get ready. My in-laws were in town, and I had promised to make them a breakfast hash with my buddy’s seasoned deer sausage. I made breakfast (which was rated five-stars by all diners, thanks Cody!), but was left with some pretty significant aching after. Something was definitely wrong. Fridays are difficult days to get ahold of bankers, hair salons, and apparently many dentists. It’s a good thing people never need those services on that day! (Not)

Nevertheless, I was able to get ahold of someone in the office and get an appointment scheduled. Three days and lots of ibuprofen later, I found myself in the dentist chair. “You’ve got a cracked molar.” “No way…” “Yep, that’s what it is, and the root is dying and unrecoverable. We’re recommending a root canal and full crown.”

I couldn’t believe it. Thanks to early experiences, I’ve always been intense about oral care. I use fancy toothbrushes, mouthwashes, and all sorts of products. I had been warned by a previous dentist my roots had crazy root structures. If I ever needed one, it was going to be tricky, and I was so disappointed. If only I had known to take that sensitivity seriously - but no one had ever told about that.

I know I know, it’s just a tooth. But to me, it felt like a major failure of strategy and discipline. After later research, I discovered that 1 in 2 Americans have had a root canal performed, and the statistics are very similar for dental crowns. That means that there’s a 50% chance that you as my reader have already experienced all of this, maybe even multiple times. But this is where I tend to beat myself up for not having made the right decisions to prevent loss. I could’ve asked better questions, pushed the dentist harder in the past, maybe asked my dad about his crown experience… but at the end of the day, you don’t know what you don’t know, and that’s just the way it is.
 
The same could be said for so many areas of life. Finances, Car Maintenance, People Leadership, Task Organization…. You name it - There’s simply no way we as humans can know everything, if a body of knowledge wasn’t culturally normal in your family, or focused on in school, or a target area for past employers, you’re simply not going to know. The question is whether you have the awareness and healthy pride level to go ask for help, or choose to stand confidently in your ignorance and see what risks come your way.

The wild thing to me was that despite all of my efforts, because I grind my teeth it’s apparently normal for them to lose sensitivity. Put another way: because of my intensity in life, I became numb to the warning lights that would’ve given me more time to fix it.

What’s that area for you right now? Financial Health? Task Management? Dental Health? People Leadership?
 
Coaching Questions:

1. What area do you feel shame for not knowing more about?

2. Is this an area holding you back?

3. Who can help you gain that knowledge, or delegate that area?

4. What has stopped you from reaching out in the past?

5. What are you going to do about it this week?